TIME TO BATH WITH A FRIEND.

After one of the coldest winters in recent times, we are now facing drought in eastern England. Not so long ago, it was floods in both the south-west and north-west and one might be excused for wondering how we can journey so easily and swiftly from flood to drought, though it will take someone smarter than I to explain that one.

Today's announcement from Severn Trent Water that restrictions may have to be brought in if there is no substantial rain in the near future is hardly unexpected but it is a harsh reminder of more difficult times ahead. This spring has seen rainfall at little more than a fifth of average levels in many places and, with some water companies still failing to achieve leakage reduction targets, levels of underground reserves are becoming dangerously low. Hosepipe bans seem inevitable, and other restrictions may also have to be introduced as we struggle to cope.

How this situation can arise is one of the mysteries of the modern world. Britain is an island surrounded by water and fish and built on coal, and yet our fishing industry has all but died, we have regular warnings of drought, and our fuel costs are soaring. Only incompetence of an enormous magnitude could have achieved such a triumph of disaster in the face of plenty.

Of course, many experts will be trotted out to tell us that the latest water shortages are a consequence of 'global warming', while the likes of Nigel Lawson will tell us that it's nothing of the sort. Government ministers will make earnest pronouncements and the water companies will be told that 'something must be done', though nothing meaningful will be. Water prices will rise as the companies tell us that they need to put more investment into their infrastructures and next year, or the years after, there will still be drought.

Surrounded as we are by incompetent politicians and companies whose first duty is to their shareholders, there seems little chance of respite. Batten down the hatches, stop flushing, bath with a friend and do the washing in the used bath-water - wartime, all over again.